Thursday, October 25, 2012
Unbelievable Sorrows and Blessings
Since last I wrote an actual entry, soooooo much has happened, an unbelievable amount of sorrow and sadness. When I wrote my last entry of any consequence, Joyce had died and I was taking care of Doc. I had promised Joyce that I would take care of him, and I did. Doc died 5 weeks after Joyce died. Cause of death was heart attack, but the truth is it was a broken heart. They were married forever and he simply could not manage life without her. Every night when I helped him get ready for bed, he'd say, "Well, maybe tonight is the night I die." I miss them both so much. I was then hired by their estate to help close it all down and get everything ready for auction and putting the property up for sale. That is finally coming to a close.
While all of this was going on for 5 months with Joyce and Doc, our Granddaughter Mollie's fiance' was killed in a drunk driving accident, my father in-law, who is living with us suffered a series of medical problems that took him to the hospital, then nursing home for 6 weeks and now back home with us. Our last wee chihuahua started to bleed out and we had to put her down. One of my husbands dear friend died, my mother announces to me that she is having TIA's and my father fell and broke his hip, developed pneumonia, a UTI with MRSA and died.
It feels as though I have gone from one sorrow to the next, with no break. My cousin asked me at the funeral for my Dad if I was tired of being strong all of the time. I responded that I was afraid that I don't know how to be weak. There are days that I want to just stay in bed, but I am blessed with the love of a good man who allows me extra sleep, but not to the point of hibernating and hiding from life.
I did get to teach to the Midwest Felting Symposium, The Michigan Fiber Festival, Wisconsin Sheep and Wool, some private classes. Felt has been the "Sweet Release" from reality for me. I've not made much, but I think that is okay for right now. My suspicious is that all of this is going to settle into my soul, become a part of who I am, and then come out as a new expression in felt for me...or maybe not. It's just float time right now...and that's okay.
Mom did get to spend about a week with us and together we made a nuno wrap for her. She loves it, and I love her. What great memories.
Please do not think that I want your sympathy with the writing of all of this. Life happen, and sometimes it happens in rapid succession. Do not be sad for me. This is more of an explanation of where I've been and the roads I've traveled lately. I am fine. The blessings with all of the these trails have been equally unbelievable. There is balance...I just have to wait for the pendulum to stop swinging.
Felt happy...and I've missed you all too.