Monday, June 28, 2010
What makes felt so fascinating, so fabulous, so addictive?
I've been thinking a good bit about my love affair with felt, nearly a 10 year passion and journey. As I am looking forward, and knowing full well, that I'll no longer be able to spend the amount of time with the beloved wool as I have in the past.
About 7pm last night I decided I wanted to make a felt hat. Hadn't made one in a long while so decided to do it. Dishes were done, the house was quiet, it would be good to get my hands back on the wool. I selected the resist, the fibers, the colors, the surface stuffs and poured a small glass of wine. So began the hat making of last night. (Wine is not the usual part of it for me...it just was last night.)
All the while, I kept thinking about going back to nursing, being away from home 8-10 hours a day, having to give up the fiber art shows, and the loss of personal independence. After running my own business for 10 years, going to work for someone else might be a difficult transition. But things are what they are. I live in Michigan. Our economy is awful. I have skills that can bring in much more money that fiber art (nearly anything would do that!)
What about the fiber am I going to miss the most?
I think it comes to this; I am going to miss the continual fascination of being a part of creating felt, watching the fibers come together, the fluidity of the fibers melting into each other, forming structure, taking form, transforming from individual fibers into single fabric. It is just such fabulous stuff, it's just so fascinating to feel it happen. I will miss the daily dose of making felt. Felt is my addiction, and I am not ashamed.
There is also the loss of personal goals. I have long wanted to be a really good felt maker. That takes time and practice, successes and failures, experimentation, understanding, tactile knowledge, something almost visceral. There are too many ideas in my head that I wanted to get out on felt. Making felt is what I want to do the rest of my life. These are goals I have to release.
I've been in denial, experienced anger, tried to bargain, certainly experienced depression, and at long last, have come to some level of acceptance that life is going to change. I can either whine and complain about it or get on board for the changes that God has provided for me.
It will be several months before all of these changes come about, so for now, I am going to enjoy the incredible, fascinating, fabulous gift and challenge that we call Felt!